Set for Flight

It was a damp, cool, August morning.  Much like the past week.  The difference?  A feel, a smell, a heaviness.  Actually, maybe it has been there for a while.  Maybe most of August.  Today on this summer day that is loosing it's light and nightly warmth, was the first day of school.  The first day of a senior year that never was and never will be.  Another good bye without a hello.  Unheld. 
 

I call these pictures His Senior Year, First Day of School.  An album complete.

 

If you look closely at the second picture, you will see a crescent moon.  Reminds me of the poem I used to say to my boys.  "I see the moon and the moon sees me.  God bless the moon and God bless (Tanner, Trevor, Sawyer)"

The emotions preceding this day have been almost unnoticed.  Only noticed by the breather, the one holding the very breath of their soul.  The clouds on this morning were light and wispy.  Blue sky.  Perfect for flight.

He always wanted to be six.  There was never any other age he wanted to be.  When he reached six he never seemed to wish he was any other age.  So, in memory of the milestones he reached, his daddy and I flew six purple balloons to signify that we love him deeply and needed to let this first day of school go.  Let go to our Maker who holds us in the palm of His hand.

The balloons flew together for a long time.  All seeming to want to reach Heaven at the same time.  Guiding, comforting each other.  Not any sort of competition.  After a bit, they all became single file as if lining up for class.  Single file for mile after mile.  Until....the first balloon stepped aside and waited.  Waited for all the balloons to pass.  They all switched places, the first becoming last and the last becoming first.  At last glance, or crick of the neck, they were but specks.  Just a fading memory in my minds eye.

I miss my boy.  I miss the activities.  The future is so out of focus.  The range of emotions on a day like this are so deep and can well within so rapidly with an overtaking power.

I follow a blog of a lady in Canada.  Today's blog was titled "The Right Question to Ask on Your Hard Days....And the Answer".  It was about the hardships of life and how they can cause such weariness.  Courage.  The Courage of Christ.  The Courage to face another day and do what you can to make someone else's day better.

So I'll hold on to the wonderful family and friends I have been blessed with, the knowledge that Jesus loves me and gives me the courage to climb every mountain.  And I'll keep an eye on the class of 2014, acknowledging that they will always have a place in my heart.  Forever.
For I'm not ready to unhand these special friends.  <3

This blog dedicated to the boys in my life who posed for many "First Day of School" photos.