Recently a friend encouraged me to begin "running". Since our tragic loss, I have had a few friends encourage me to do this. Back then, most people said "you can't cry when you are running". I guess I felt like it was okay to cry "back then". Now? I don't really know what has possessed me to strap on my mediocre, worn out shoes, beckon the dogs and take out on a dirt road to feel the wind in my face. Granted, it isn't a brisk wind yet but I'm sure with time it will take on a different form. For now I guess I will call it "a jog walk", as my boys do when they hear me say "I went for a run".
As I reflected on this whole reason for this burst of release so desperately needed at the moment, I thought about the the poem "Footprints in the Sand". For the past 14 months, 11 days, I have been carried. Carried by the prayers of my family, my community and even those I have never met. Carried by Jesus. He always knows what I need and at times he sets me on my feet to test my legs but I know that when my knees begin to wobble and I reach for more than his right hand, he securely takes me in his arms again. Just like when you are beginning to get in shape for running. You jog when you feel the strength of God can sustain you and you walk when you feel like you might fall down.
So, here's to a great support system through such tragic times and moments of clarity~
Love this Lil!
ReplyDelete